By: Dilame, Lauren & Max
Every year 35,000 students enroll at the University of Minnesota in hopes of advancing their education, landing their dream job, and for many, finding the one – or at the very least, having fun while trying. Dating in college is a universal experience that is anything, but easy. Entering a world of responsibility and independence, while discovering who you are is challenging enough. Add navigating relationships and dating and it’s no wonder no one has cracked the code yet. Many of Gen Z’s defining factors are what hinder their dating success. When surveying UMN students and alumni, not one individual responded confidently that dating today is easier than it was 50 years ago. With all our societal advances, why are we still struggling in the world of dating? How does dating today compare to when our parents were on campus? It’s no secret that things are quite different than they once were, but we believe with the right advice and direction UMN’s Gen Z students can find success dating on campus.
Dinkytown – May 15, 1966, April 24, 2023
Dating Profiles
The process of dating has certainly evolved over the years, with changes in technology, social norms, and cultural values impacting the way people interact and form relationships.
Technology has revolutionized the way people date. Previous generations typically met potential partners through family, friends, work, school or social events. They often relied on face to face interactions or phone calls. Today, online dating and social media have become popular ways to meet new people, especially for younger generations. This holds true for University of Minnesota students who feel the current dating scene is dominated by online dating apps and social media. Although these technological advances have made it easier than ever for people to connect with others, they have also introduced new challenges such as ghosting, catfishing and online harassment.
So whether you’re on all of the apps or have never entered the world of online dating, we reached out to UMN students to help us visualize what the world of online dating currently looks like. We also spoke to UMN alumni from 1993-2017 to see how their online dating experience compares.
Ever wonder what a Boomer’s hinge profile might look like? We asked current students and alumni of the U to create their own dating profile. Here’s what we got.
What do the experts say?
Dating apps have drastically changed the dating landscape, including the dating scene in college. While these apps have made it easier for people to connect with potential partners, they have also been accused of ruining relationships in college. I spoke to Professor Tai Mendenhall, who teaches courses regarding family and social science at the University of Minnesota, better to understand the effects of dating apps on college students.
“Relationships are like a game, they’re more of a game than they ever have been, and I think people get hurt a lot. Additionally, young people today are much more vulnerable to getting hurt than they were a generation ago,” said Mendenhall.
The ease of swiping left or right on a dating app can lead to a culture of ghosting and rejection, where people are more likely to cut off communication rather than deal with the discomfort of ending a relationship in person. Mendenhall adds, “If anyone has been ghosted or catfished, they’ll tell you how much that sucks and hurt them.” Dating apps can perpetuate unrealistic expectations and standards, leading to disappointment and frustration when potential partners fail to live up to those expectations. Focusing on superficial qualities such as appearance and wealth can also lead to objectification and a lack of empathy towards others. Additionally, the pressure to present oneself in the best possible light can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
“I don’t think human hearts always work like that. We do get attached. We do maybe want to see a person again. We have these human emotions that we feel whether we want to or not.” said Mendenhall.
Dating apps can also contribute to a hookup culture on college campuses, where casual sex is normalized, and relationships are devalued. This can create a sense of pressure to participate in casual sex, even if one is not comfortable with it, and can make it more difficult for people to find partners who are interested in serious relationships.
“Back in the 60s, birth control changed everything. Today the limitless availability of potential partners is changing everything and I don’t think that’s a very good change.” says Mendenhall.
One way that dating apps can be detrimental to relationships is by encouraging a “disposable” mentality. With so many potential matches available at the swipe of a finger, people may be more likely to quickly move on from a relationship or a potential partner if they don’t immediately feel a spark. This can make it more difficult for individuals to form meaningful connections and may lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. Dating apps are affecting relationships in college by making it more difficult for people to form meaningful connections. With a seemingly endless pool of potential partners, many people are more inclined to swipe through profiles quickly and superficially, without taking the time to get to know someone on a deeper level. This can lead to shallow, short-lived relationships that lack substance.
“It’s not an event, it’s a process and it takes time,” said Mendenhall.
Mendenhall concludes that although dating apps can be a useful tool for meeting new people and finding potential partners, it is important to be mindful of their potential negative impact on relationships and mental health. Finding “the one” does not happen overnight but rather through a series of choices you make throughout your life. It is important to prioritize self-care and to approach dating apps with a healthy and balanced perspective.
Overall, while dating apps can be a helpful tool for meeting people, they can also have negative effects on relationships in college. It’s important for individuals to approach these apps with caution and to be mindful of their own expectations and intentions when using them.
Q&A
While interviewing current and former students, we wanted to figure out if dating now is any harder than it was in the past. Although previous generations may not know the struggles of dating apps or “sliding in the DMs,” the reality is that the search for a partner is often just as nerve wracking, embarrassing and sensitive as it has always been. Below are two selected interviews from two different generations, check out their thoughts on dating below.
Gen Z:
Grace Davis – Class of 2023
- As a student, what do you think is the best first date spot around campus?
- I think the Stone Arch Bridge is a nice area. I feel like that’s pretty close to campus. Whether it’s like taking a walk, you could get coffee down there, or go out to dinner.. You could also go to the movies at St. Anthony Main. I think that area is really nice.
- What’s your preferred method for meeting new people, either romantic or platonic?
- I think like, ideally, like, meeting people, through friends of friends. And kind of like having a baseline idea that they’re a good and real person. And you probably have similar interests if you have similar friends. I think realistically, though, like, in my experience, I have met people through dating apps. And I’ve had good experiences with that as well. So I mean, preferred, definitely in person, but I won’t knock the digital platforms.
- How do you think that dating in our generation compares to our parents’ generation? Do you think it’s easier, harder? Or just different?
- I mean, I feel like it’s just different. But at the same time, there are facets of it that are the same. It’s like my parents met at a bar, and I met my current boyfriend at a bar, you know. I think there’s kind of this idea today that finding someone organically is a lot harder to do. But I think it’s just because we have all these apps that are basically tools to make it easier, but at the same time they’re overwhelming or oversaturated. So it’s like, “Oh, my God, there’s so many people, and I don’t like any of them”, but it’s also like, you don’t also really know them. And what are the odds that you would actually see any of these people in the places that you like to go?
Millennial:
Joe Hinz and Leah Garaas – Class of 2012 – Met at Radio K
- Where did you have your first date?
- Joe: Our first actual date, we went to Tracks bar off of University [Ave] – kind of by the Menards. I don’t even know if it’s still a bar anymore.
- Leah: I don’t think it is.
- Joe: But it was attached to a Days Inn, a pretty trashy motel, nothing fancy going on there. I asked Leah if she wanted to go to a dive bar, and she said, “Yeah, where’s Dive Bar?” She didn’t know what a dive bar was.
- Today, you might hear things like, “I saw such and such on Instagram doing this and now we have a problem.” Was there anything like that when you were in school?
- Leah: Yeah, doing bulk upload of Facebook pictures, or like a Facebook album was a common thing after there was a house party. So someone would take a digital camera, take photos of the evening, and then they’d upload, like, 70 pictures and everyone would see them the morning after. Then, there would be talk. I lived with four other girls and there would be talk like, “Oh yeah, even from these pictures she seems really into him.
- As a couple that met at the U, do you guys have any tips for current UMN students that are looking for relationships and maybe having some struggles?
- Joe: Yeah, Radio K was huge for me. I felt like that was the one place on campus where I had face to face interactions with people that I felt comfortable with, and really enjoyed everyone at the station… It takes time, but try to find something that’s face to face and where you’re working on something.
4th St., Dinkytown – May 15, 1966, April 24, 2023
Date Spots
A first date spot is like a first time meeting someone, it’s never forgotten. With so many options, though, choosing that first place can be a real headache. Although many businesses have come and gone through Dinkytown and the surrounding neighborhoods, there are still many great options for a first date spot near campus. We asked current and former students where they would take someone on a first date.
Shuang Cheng
Located in the heart of Dinkytown, Shuang Cheng has been around since 1990. There huge menu is great for dining in or grabbing food to-go. If you fancy yourself a lunch date, they offer a budget-friendly, sizeable lunch special. Prefer an evening date? This is the perfect spot to grab a window booth, sip on a cup of tea, share in some great food and conversation.
Wilson Library
In between the Carlson School of Management and Rarig Center is Wilson Library, one of nine libraries on the Minneapolis campus. Grab a coffee in the basement cafe, and head upstairs to check out nearly three full stories of books.
Hard Times Cafe
Just a quick walk from Wilson Library is Hard Times Cafe, a punk-rock themed coffee shop. They’re known for their interesting wall art, good coffee, and a kickass rock playlist that’s on until midnight every night. They also have an extensive vegan and vegetarian menu, perfect for anyone looking to have a quick bite. (Pro tip: Bring cash! They won’t take cards.)
Boom Island
Enjoy a walk or picnic just outside of downtown Minneapolis at Boom Island Park. During the warmer months, there is a long bike trail, plenty of open space for picnics, and a great riverfront view of Minneapolis.
Lagos Tacos
If you’re looking for great Mexican food, then look no further than Lagos Tacos in Uptown. They serve a wide variety of tacos, including: chicken, beef, pork, shrimp, and veggie. They also have an extensive happy hour and brunch menu for those looking for a boozy first date.
Weisman Art Museum
Right next to the Washington Avenue bridge is the iconic Weisman Art Museum. If you’re a student, enjoy free admission to view nearly 20,000 pieces of art with an impressive mix of local, national, and international artists alike.
Stone Arch Bridge
Get out of Dinkytown and take in the scenery at the Stone Arch Bridge. In less than a mile, you can view the St. Anthony Falls, the gushing Mississippi river, and a scenic view of downtown Minneapolis.
McDonald’s
One current student said his #1 date spot is a McDonald’s drive-thru run. This McDonald’s in Uptown is a great option, as it’s close to so many fun activities. Catch a show at the Green Room just across the street, or take a 10 minute walk and enjoy a lane of bowling at Bryant Lake Bowl.
Mim’s Cafe
Calling all falafel lovers to Mim’s in St. Paul! This family-run cafe is known for their food from the middle east, including kabobs, shrwarma, and muraf. They also serve burgers, rubens, and salads.
Colossal Coffee
In you’re looking for a casual coffee shop in St. Paul, look no further than Colossal Cafe. Located right off of Como Ave and Highway 280, this shop serves a wide array of food and drinks perfect for any first date.
7th Street Entry
Among the wall of stars, and around the corner from the legendary First Avenue is the entrance to 7th Street Entry. In this 250 capacity venue, they have a lowered pit and plenty of seating options; ready to accommodate all in need of a good view.
Check out all of these places, and more, with our interactive map!
So is dating today easier than it was in our parents’ generation? It’s tough to say. One thing we know for certain is that hope for UMN daters is not lost. Navigating the world of college dating in today’s climate comes with an abundance of challenges. When it comes to dating on campus, our advice to UMN is to stay true to you. There is no shame in meeting someone online and no judgment for those who’d prefer to do it the old fashioned way. We hope you find these experiences and tips helpful on your journey to finding that special someone.